


(Laughter will) ignite your bones

by Liliace



Series: Fix You [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Betting on others' love lives, Ehhh sort of at least, Even less liberal use of parenthesis, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, M/M, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Pet Names, Pranks, Said others don't like this, Tony and Clint finally get their shit together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-18 10:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5925853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liliace/pseuds/Liliace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>People are betting on Tony's love life, revenge is obviously necessary, and somehow pet names become involved.</p>
<p>In which Tony and Clint actually talk about feelings (finally) and Natasha helps them prank other Avengers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(Laughter will) ignite your bones

**Author's Note:**

> Uh, I realized that the previous part technically didn't have a happy ending. So, I wrote this one! Fluff, attempts at humour, misunderstandings and adulting ahead.
> 
> In case you don't feel like reading the previous parts (they're more angsty than this one), the backstory is this: Tony used to have casual sex with Bucky, actually fell in love with said 90-year-old, but Bucky started dating another 90-year-old, so Tony was kinda heartbroken, but got over it when he started having casual sex with Clint (and maybe started liking Clint instead) (and maybe the kidnapping had something to do with it as well).

Tony hears about the bet from Clint who hears about it from Natasha who knows everything. He feels a bit betrayed because Bruce hadn't mentioned anything to him, but then again, his science bro could be a little shit – partly why Tony likes him so much.

Rhodey and Pepper obviously weren't in on it, because they would have set the record straight and won whatever hard-earned cash the Avengers had floating around. The others, well. Tony would have easily expected that kind of behaviour from them.

The only reason Natasha tells Clint is that they share everything, Tony figures. Also, because Natasha knows that Clint won't put a stop to the betting (aka Natasha's source of amusement). Clint tells Tony probably because he knows that the genius wouldn't put a stop to it either, and in fact would find it just as amusing as Clint himself does (which, yeah, he definitely does).

Upon hearing about it the first time, Tony bursts into loud laughter. 'Which will kiss the other first', 'when will they get together', 'which will have a worse poker face that day'. It's hilarious because seriously? Already done, never, Clint.

Okay, there's a bit of pain mixed up in the humour because while Tony can certainly appreciate all of them being so wrong, he'd rather them not be wrong. Tony definitely would not object to a relationship with Clint, but that's very unlikely to happen.

Friends with benefits? Sure, done deal, been going on for weeks. Actual caring, 'I-like-you' relationship? Not in the cards for them.

Except…

"That whole bet is ridiculous," Clint says, rolling his eyes. "They have to know we're fucking, so does that mean they think that's all we're doing?"

Tony blinks in shock because obviously, yes. Why wouldn't they? That is, in fact, all he and Clint are doing.

"Friends with benefits, right?" Tony grins casually. "Surprisingly accurate for those people, have to agree with you on that."

This time it's Clint who looks shocked, and suddenly Tony realizes that he probably said something he shouldn't have. He goes over his words in his head but doesn't find anything off with them, though it's not like he has a lot of time to think before Clint's speaking again.

"'Friends with benefits'? Fucking hell, is that what you see this as?" There's a note of incredulity in Clint's voice and Tony doesn't know what to make of it.

"Um, yes? Obviously?" Tony replies, lifting an eyebrow and pretending like his entire worldview isn't shaking on its foundations currently. Well, at least his relationship and people views.

Clint laughs, and it's obviously more from shock than any amusement. "What about our dates?"

"Dates?" Tony asks, tilting his head in confusion as he tries to think back but comes up blank. They haven't gone on any dates, have they?

"You know," Clint says slowly, as if talking to a little kid and Tony feels a spike of irritation, "those times we went to the movies together, or had dinner alone, or just went around doing whatever before getting to the sex part?"

Tony's irritation disappears in the wake of his newly resurrected confusion. "Those weren't dates. Natasha or Pepper or Bruce or all of them came with us to the movies usually, and the only times we've had dinner alone were in the workshop, or in the shooting range, or after missions when we'd get together to complain about everything and everyone. And playing pranks or having a workout or whatever before sex doesn't really count as a date in my books, not if I'm already friends with that person."

Clint looks on as Tony finishes his side of the story (explanation, though Tony's not quite sure what he's explaining) and then shakes his head ruefully.

"What, you needed me to ask you out?" Clint asks with lifted eyebrows.

"Wouldn't have said no," Tony says, and though his tone is casual and joking he feels like he's revealing far too much with those words. "And even a kiss during one of those 'dates' would have clued me in."

Clint rolls his eyes before adopting an adoring expression. "O Tony, light of my life, my dearest darling, would you allow me, a mere pheasant with nothing besides my undying loyalty and affection to offer you, to take you out on a date tomorrow night?"

Tony bursts into laughter again, and Clint isn't too far behind. It's funny; the whole situation kinda is, really.

It could have gone bad. So, so bad. They could have argued and misunderstood each other and all that rot, and then Tony wouldn't have ever managed to say that he actually wouldn't mind dating Clint, he just wasn't aware that he was already doing so.

So perhaps the laughter is partly of relief. And perhaps Tony falls for Clint a bit more for how he handled the situation (not getting upset with Tony).

When they both finally sober up, Tony dares to glance at Clint again (and doesn't fall into another fit of laughter, thank goodness). There's humour lingering on Clint's expression, and little else. Yet Tony feels like maybe he should make his own affection clearer.

"Yes," Tony says, in reply to Clint's joking question, but his expression is serious. His eyes speak of honesty and his tone is truthful, and there's no way Clint could miss it.

So they go on a date the next night. Natasha shows up right before they're leaving (they're going to the movies again) and Tony has a moment of fear that it was all a joke and she'll join them, but she only shakes her head and tells Tony that he was an idiot before. Tony doesn't refute that statement, simply grins and asks what that makes her (because she missed it) and Clint laughs at them.

The date goes off without a hitch, and when they're getting back into the car after the movie, Clint kisses him. It's a brush of the lips, almost rushed, nothing like their kisses during sex.

Tony pulls Clint back to him and kisses him again, this time more deeply. When they separate, Tony leans his forehead against Clint's and smiles – this tiny, honest smile that he rarely (almost never) lets escape, and Clint bites his lip to stop an answering smile.

They have sex when they get back to the tower, naturally, but this time Tony feels like there's more to it. Which there probably is; they're both trying to convince the other that there are feelings other than lust involved.

It's only on the following morning that they talk about the bet again. Tony kind of feels super grateful towards all participants in that bet because that was what made him and Clint talk about their feelings, but that doesn't mean he's planning on letting them off easy.

"How should we do this?" Clint asks, sitting on top of the kitchen table with his feet dangling a couple of inches above the floor. Tony does not find this highly attractive, no sire; the reason he's running his eyes over Clint is that Clint's naked, not because it's _Clint_ sitting there all casually.

Clint lifts his eyebrows and Tony realizes that he's probably been staring for too long, but instead of blushing or whatever ridiculous thing might be expected, Tony winks and shoots an obvious look at his lover's lower body (and wow, Clint's his _lover_ now).

Anyway, that brought Tony's thoughts back to Clint's question, and he hums thoughtfully. "I suppose we could pretend to act all lovey-dovey? But that might make them think one of them won the bet. So pretending like we still aren't together – and no, we weren't together before, dating isn't possible with one partner unaware of it – might be the better option? But that would get boring quickly, so that's not the best one… How about we break up?"

Clint blinks in momentary shock at his last question, but then grins widely. "That would change the betting somewhat, and if we could make them think that we stopped our previous not-dating because of their bets…"

"I like the way you think, Amore Mio," Tony laughs, finally stepping closer to Clint and giving into the urge to kiss him.

The plan is simple: they act like they're upset with each other, pretending that finding out about the betting drew them apart. Well, Natasha's making that last part work; she's tasked with 'letting it slip' that the reason for their split was a fight over the bets.

It all goes off without a hitch. Tony and Clint act awkward around each other (pausing whenever the other enters the room, avoiding sitting next to each other at all costs, and so on and so on). Tony can't say for sure how much of it the others buy, but considering that he and Clint even stopped having sex, they must be at least relatively convincing.

And yeah, they stopped sleeping together. Clint pointed out that it would never seem real without sexual frustration, and Tony was forced to agree (even though he really, _really_ didn't want to). So without sex they went.

That was one of the reasons they agreed that they shouldn't keep the prank going on for too long; another was that they didn't want to actually seriously worry their teammates, no matter how awful human beings said teammates were (betting on their friends' love lives? Horrible, horrible people).

On the third morning, Bruce comes by Tony's workshop. Naturally, the following conversation circles around the bet and Tony's relationship with Clint. Or, well, Bruce tries to talk to Tony about it – and admits participating in the bet – and Tony avoids commenting on it all. He doesn't want to act mad with Bruce, but acceptance would seem suspicious, so avoidance it is. That's how Tony usually deals with any personal problems, anyway, so Bruce shouldn't suspect a thing.

That night, Tony asks JARVIS if anyone's out and about, and when the answer is no, he quickly sneaks off to Clint's room.

"So, Bruce came by to talk to me today," Tony says after Clint lets him in.

"No 'hello darling, how are you today?' or 'hi honey, I've missed you'?" Clint asks, faking a hurt expression.

Tony rolls his eyes and leans in to give Clint a short kiss. "Hello, boobear, great to see you."

"Boobear?" Clint asks as he pulls away, looking incredulous. "Really? That's the best you can come up with?"

"What's wrong with boobear?" Tony frowns.

"Well, it's fucking ridiculous for one," Clint says, "and for another, you call Rhodes 'honeybear'. Forgive me for not wanting to get the scraps."

Tony hums thoughtfully. "I do call him honeybear, don't I. How about Cuddle Bunch?"

"You were saying about Bruce?" Clint asks, changing the subject before Tony can really start going on about pet names.

"Oh yeah," Tony blinks. "He came to talk to me about our relationship, and how the bet was a bad thing of them to do, but how we shouldn't let it come between us two. I'm sure they expect Natasha to give you a similar speech."

"Yup," Clint confirms. "She mentioned that they asked her to talk to me about it all. Which she did, but not in the sense they were probably thinking about."

Tony laughs before stealing another kiss. He pulls away – reluctantly – after a short while, though, since they can't afford to get carried away.

"This no sex thing sucks," Clint mutters, pouting (and really putting Tony's resolve to the test).

"Couldn't have said it better myself, Dumpling," Tony agrees.

"Really?" Clint rolls his eyes, and Tony decides to exit the room before Clint starts shooting out bad nicknames of his own.

They manage to keep the whole prank thing going on for two more days, but then Tony breaks. Mind you, it's totally not his fault. Not one bit. It's completely Clint's fault for sucking on that spoon while moaning appreciatively and holding eye contact with Tony.

Stronger men than Tony would break, and really, Steve had been looking worried for the past day, so Tony figures that it's about time to end the whole charade (and no, he doesn't just use that as an excuse to Clint, he actually thought about it).

"Alright, Emperor, that's it," Tony announces in the middle of dinner (or, the latter part of it, during dessert, to be exact). "No, wait, that won't work," he mumbles then, before starting over. "Fuzz Butt, it's over. Seriously, that is so unfair and I am done."

"Tony?" Steve asks, concerned. He glances from Tony to Clint and back, and frowns as he observes the silent staring competition.

"Fine, G-Man," Clint finally says. "We're done."

Confusion appears to be the main emotion throughout the dining room, except for Natasha that is (she's rolling her eyes and looking bored).

"Finally!" Tony exclaims, as if the whole prank hadn't been partly his idea. "Hercules, come over here."

"You think you can order me around, Ibex?" Clint asks, lifting both his eyebrows as high as they can go.

Tony laughs, realizing that Clint figured out his ongoing joke. "Fine, Jellybean." Then he gets up, walks around the table to Clint (as they had continued their act of not sitting close to each other) and pulls him into a deep kiss.

There's a sound of confusion from Steve, Bucky's gaping at them, and Bruce's eyes are wide as he blinks rapidly. Then there's the sound of a camera shutter as Natasha takes a picture with a smirk (sure, she could have asked JARVIS for a shot, but this way it's already safe on her phone).

"Thanks boys, this is great blackmail material," she winks at Tony and Clint, who finally separate.

"Our pleasure," Tony grins, glancing around at the others.

"Wait," Bruce says slowly, "I'm confused. You said you're done and then you kiss?"

Bucky blinks, his brain working overtime as he looks from a grinning Tony to a smirking Clint. "No way," he says. "You were faking? Oh my god, I should have realized. I thought I had my bullshit sense perfected from all the time spent with Steve."

"Hey!" Steve exclaims, sounding offended though he can't seem to help a little grin.

"Faking?" Bruce asks. "Which part? The budding relationship, or –? Oh of course, the fight," he finishes, shaking his head as he stares sternly at Tony.

"What?" Tony blinks innocently. "You were betting on us, no way we were not gonna have any fun with that."

"Well said, my Knight in Shining Armour," Clint nods from beside him, having been dragged up by Tony during that whole kiss thing.

"Jerks," Steve says, though his tone is slightly fond.

"You started it," Tony accuses, and Steve finds his food very interesting after that.

"But wait," Bruce says again. "When did you get together? I am assuming you are together, because of that kiss and pet names and so on."

"Five weeks ago," Clint announces, and Tony whiplashes to stare at him.

"No, no, we talked about this, remember? A relationship requires both – or all, in case of a polyamorous relationship – partners to know about said relationship. So, it started five days ago, Love Muffin."

Clint shoots him a panicked look before glancing at Natasha, who's staring at Tony murderously. Tony gulps, realizing that Natasha must have bet on the time Clint (and she) thought the two of them started going out.

Then he blinks, shooting looks at everyone there. "The bet is still going, isn't it?" he says with a mock disappointed look.

"Of course," Bucky grins. "Now there's the added part of 'when will they make up'. Though since the entire fight was faked, I'm not sure if it counts…"

"I believe the exact terms were 'kiss and make up', and considering the kissing part got fulfilled…" Natasha smirks.

Tony breathes a small sigh of relief, happy that Natasha apparently won at least some bet she had placed on them (that would make her less inclined to kill him). Come to think of it, Clint was probably in on it with her.

"You planned this, huh, Marshmallow?" Tony asks under his breath.

"No idea what you're talking about, Night Light," Clint says back, determinedly keeping his eyes off the spoon he was using to break Tony's resolve.

"I get a cut or I'm telling," Tony announces, and though it sounds like a threat, his eyes are dancing so Clint knows he doesn't mean a word.

"A billionaire like you can't get by without some betting money, Oreo?" Clint asks incredulously, though he had been planning on spending some of that money on Tony anyway.

"You make a good point, Pudding Pie," Tony says thoughtfully, "but I'm still taking my cut."

Clint laughs before pulling Tony into another kiss, and they only separate when the catcalls from others start to become a bit too much.

"I'm happy for you two, though," Steve says warmly when everything has quieted down a bit, and Tony smiles as he glances at him and Bucky.

"Thanks, Cap," he says, and he means it.

It's surprising how easy it is to look at a man he used to love and said man's current partner. There's no hurt involved, anymore, and he knows it's all thanks to Clint. Well, Clint and time.

Dinner (or dessert) continues peacefully after that whole debacle, though the conversation topics tend to circle around Tony and Clint's relationship. They avoid talking about how they got together or started sleeping together (because those are two different times, no matter what Clint says) since those things would be too awkward to reveal ('so, I was so pissed at Steve and Bucky that Clint had comfort sex with me, and I didn't realize it had become more until we were forced to discuss it').

When they retire for the night, Tony drags Clint into his rooms (not that Clint's protesting). From there on it's quick work to remove clothes and fall into bed. Before anything more exciting happens, though, Tony stops them and lifts his eyebrows at Clint.

"I have a question," he says, and Clint groans in frustration. "Ibex?"

"You know, like that one goat species? Don't look at me like that, it's the first thing that came to mind and you like adventure and shit so just give it up. Your ones weren't much better!" Clint argues, poking his tongue out at Tony.

"Yes they were," Tony claims, acting offended by the accusation.

Clint shakes his head and leans in to press his mouth against Tony's throat again.

"I do wonder," he says between nibs, "who actually won the bet."

"Must you think about others while we're in bed, Quackers?" Tony asks a little breathlessly, whining when Clint pulls away.

"That's it," Clint announces and gets up, "no more sex for you."

He starts to walk across the bedroom to the door, still completely naked mind you, and Tony hastens to get up and follow him.

"No, stop, oh Romeo! I didn't mean anything by it, Snuggle Bug!" Tony cries, running after a laughing Clint.

His face hurts from smiling, and he falls into a bout of laughter when Clint surprises him with a tackle. Sex had never been that fun before.

Come to think of it, neither had life. Perhaps Tony has finally mastered the art of living (or maybe the fates decided to give him a break). Whatever it may be, Tony intends to take full advantage of it before life throws something shitty at him again.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is it! The final part to the trilogy, and Tony has his actual happy ending (see, I'm not heartless). Any comments or feedback would be greatly appreciated!
> 
> In case you didn't get "Tony's ongoing joke", it was using different pet names in alphabetical order. I got them all from http://www.herinterest.com/200-cute-names-to-call-your-boyfriend/
> 
> (Also, again, I accept prompts. My tumblr is liliace.tumblr.com, in case you wanna be completely anonymous. I need motivation to do things)


End file.
